Rediscovering THE IMMORTAL
In college, in my search to understand this Divine power and Creator I sensed, I explored religion (The Baha’i Faith, Islam, etc) and accepted Christianity. Got baptized, threw away all my Prince music. (twice). And was extremely devout.
But at my heart, I’ve always searched for truth.
I began to notice the puppet-like behavior of people in church around me and I felt I was being brainwashed. People would say amen together, stand and clap together, praise god in the same way, etc.
It was just a bit too robotic for me.
And after research I began to question the origin of the Bible. So I left organized religion, believing I have inside me everythng necessary to understand the Divine… and that the search is between me and the Divine and no one else.
I like my free form search/spirituality much better.
Was there a set of beliefs that made you disagree with organized religion?
I would say that the fact that all these religions are derivative makes them hoaxes.
But yes, I fundamentally disagree with the depiction of man as inherently evil/sinful and that he is a beggar needing a savior. I think that insults both God and man. I mean he created us and we humans are amazing.
I’m also against the idea that we should not “lean to our own understanding.” That’s bullshit. We only have our minds to discern right from wrong in this life/Earth. Once you make people doubt themselves … the danger begins.
Never, ever doubt your faculty or your reasoning. It is the thing that separates you from all other species. You have it for a reason. It is good and should never be denied.
Were there people who influenced your decision?
I have always known my path. However, when I read Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead I could no longer continue living a lie. She affirmed my belief that my thoughts and reasoning have value and that I must live for myself and not for a collective, whether it’s my family or church, etc.
Ayn is an atheist. I am not, however. I believe in the Divine, just not the one written out in these hand-me-down books.
My pastor, who I spoke to before leaving the church, had me read some CS Lewis who went from atheism to Christianity. But it didn’t help. It was emotion and not reason. My pastor could give me no good reason to help me validate that Chrisitianity or any religion was true and pure.
What is your opinion of religion in other people’s lives?
I think it is one pathway to get to know the Divine. And people should use whatever means necessary.
Clearly all humans are wired with an urge to find the Divine. That’s why there are so many religions or alternatives like New age, etc. where people search for truth and revelation and answers to human nature and our origins.
I prefer an intellectual approach to God. That wouldn’t work for someone like my mother. She needs the flesh and blood Jesus. Don’t give her abstracts.
I understand that and believe that even though Jesus, to me, is just a shortcut for interpreting God… not everyone can take the long, heartbreaking path through the wilderness of self-discovery and meeting god on their own terms.
I respect that. I say live and let live.
Me, I’d rather find the Divine at the beach or in a forest or in a quiet room as I write my journal.
After I rejected religion, on account of all of it being derivative and manmade I went through many years rejecting a personalized view of the Divine.
I thought, yeah, we were created, but I guess he’s just sitting on the bleachers watching and not interacting with us. That was so hard.
Now, in watching the little “coincidences” of life, I begin to see there really is a pattern, a harmony and rhythm to all things … and that means something to me. … and that is a form of Divine communication to me. I believe things have happened that can’t be explained away as just happenstance, so never will I reject that the Divine interacts with us. It does. It’s a beautiful thing.
And whenever I glimpse that amazing touch, I revere it, even if it’s not down on my knees.
(Blog originally posted 9/20/2008)
© 2008, Synthia L. Rose. All rights reserved.
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