The Social Scorpio: All About Scorpio Tribes & Scorpio Anti-Social Behavior
Do Scorpios Have Poor Social IQ?
Ever watched the evening news and felt the description of a sociopath sounded strangely in sync with all the Scorpio profiles you’ve read? Loner. Didn’t Like Being Around People. Depressive Tendencies. Rejected Social Norms. Highly Intelligent. Defiant. Secretive.
Ever invited a Scorpio to a party only to have them ignore your invitation or show up only to NOT socialize with people, but sit in a corner, scoffing and glaring at all the trivial banter and games? Prototypical Scorpios are not social butterflies and will rarely be the darlings of the social circuit.
Air signs know how to work a room. Libras can flatter and schmooze like nobody’s business. Aquarius, the master of networking, can make friends anywhere. Geminis put people at ease with their flirting and endless repartee. However, Scorpio is often thought of as the social misfit of the Zodiac. Scorpios who lack air energy may not respect social cues or participate in standard or expected social behavior at all.
As a rule, Scorpios despise superficial chit-chat and other polite courtesies required at social functions. Often rude, curt, politically incorrect, uncomfortable and awkward in social settings, Scorpio men and Scorpio women can easily give strangers the cold shoulder rather than engage. And don’t expect Scorpio’s barbed tongue, heavy talking points and moodiness to blend in with light-heartened party company.
Yet the Scorpio isn’t an anti-social creature. They are merely socially selective. Every Scorpio is looking to build a private tribe of people with whom they socialize in a free-flowing, secure and unselfconscious way that the world at-large never sees; over a lifetime, that tribe may only contain three, five, 10 people. You can never really know the Scorpio until you have observed them guard down in their chosen tribe and chosen atmosphere.
The Selectively Social Scorpio: It’s a Tribe Thing – You Wouldn’t Understand.
The same obnoxiously, irreverent Scorpio who frowns on your chipper “Good Mornings” at the office or throws you dagger-like stares at required office gatherings will be engaging and charismatic in a tribe of his or her choosing. Scorpios will not allow circumstances to dictate friendships or social networks. You sit in the next cubicle? Big deal. Scorpio would prefer that you remain anonymous. You’re the new neighbor down the hall? Don’t expect Scorpio to roll out the welcome mat. You’re married to Scorpio’s cousin? This creates absolutely no obligation for Scorpio to endure you.
Don’t think of this behavior as mean. Their discrimination is a conservation tactic. Scorpios cannot afford to give energy, attention, interest or passion to random people or to large numbers of people. Scorpios prefer deep bonding — which by default means scarce bonding; they must mete out their energy with discretion otherwise they drain their social resources and are left with only enough energy for superficial relations.
That might please Aquarius, who indiscriminately spreads thin affections far and wide, but never Scorpio, who views attention as an honor. When a Scorpio focuses on you, it is a salute, a validation. It is a special, a gift, a rarity, and therefore a thing of value. It is not some negligible, common gesture dispensed without thought or weight, as might be the case with other signs.
By conserving their personality, attentiveness and emotions for a select few, Scorpios can give concentrated attention, insight, charm, love and passion. They can promise saturated sentiment and intense sharing for those inducted into their personal tribe.
Unfortunately, this strategy often necessitates ignoring the very presence of non-tribe people, rebuffing invitations to socialize, refusals to chat, and the rejection of a wide array of social prompts.
Don’t take it personally. It’s not about you. It’s not about arrogance or coldness or game-playing. It’s about the quality of their style of relating — and the preservation of their own souls. The energy centers of the Zodiac, Scorpios fuel others often at their own expense. For survival, they have to ration the fuel they give out.
Are you Tribe-worthy?
Tribes are extremely important to Scorpio because Scorpio is the sign of intimacy — not just romantic intimacy but any kind of intimacy. Yes, Scorpios are loners and individualists; they don’t need to partner or socialize with someone around the clock like Pisces, Gemini or Libra. However, when they deviate from their loner zone, they love being close to select chums. So, they spend their lifetime collecting members suitable for this standing intimacy. Make no mistake about it, Scorpio’s primarily need is for romantic soul mates. If they have that, they don’t need the platonic tribe, but they enjoy it immensely and will guard both romantic and platonic tribes fiercely.
So, how do you become a member of Scorpio’s personal tribe? It goes without saying that you must be trustworthy (committing not even one significant transgression), loyal, and possessing the ability to emote on their level. Those aren’t the decision-making factors, however.
Scorpios live by instinct and value the intangible, cosmic and uncontrollable factors when forming their tribe:
- Do you have chemistry?
- Is there a sense of automatic familiarity or kinship?
- Is there an automatic sense of ease.
- Is there a magical synchronicity between you — when you talk, when you sing or dance, when you joke?
- Is there an effortless call and response at the soul level, meaning when the Scorpio yearns or summons, do your natural reflexes match the Scorpio’s needs?
- Can you communicate without words?
- Can you intuit them?
- Can the Scorpio sense you will take the risk of emoting beyond what society may consider normal, being raw and naked with him or her?
- Are you a catalyst, setting changes or events in motion in the Scorpio’s life that unerves the Scorpio in a good way but uncomfortable way, throwing them off-kilter?
Will you protect the intense exchange with your life and take secrets to the grave. (Yes, it’s that serious).
Will you be there unconditionally as if your soul has taken a pledge of allegiance to the relationship? (Again, it’s that serious).
If these things don’t apply, you may be kicked out of the initiation and reduced to simply a “friend,” or an acquaintance — which is still fabulous — but you won’t be a tribe member.
Outsiders may not even know the Scorpio’s tribe exists. They may never see the tribe or know the names of people in it. In fact, they might erroneously think the Scorpio is friendless. Even family members may be completely unaware that the Scorpio has a private, subterranean social life.
A Scorpio can tell within seconds of meeting you whether they are interested in extending you an invitation to the tribe. (No, wanting to sleep with you within seconds doesn’t count. Many paramours are never admitted into the tribe).
A Scorpio’s personal tribe likely includes a few water signs, particularly other Scorpios. Eighth house people and other people with strong Plutonian energy may also be present. However, this is somewhat cliché; it really depends on the Scorpio’s individual needs, likes and natal chart, what energies he or she has in abundance and what energy the Scorpio lacks. No one can predict when the spark may occur that draws a Scorpio to another; so, any sign can conceivably be pulled into a Scorpio’s tribe.
Despite their seeming social ineptitude when in the general public, Scorpios possess many traits that researchers consider the mark of a high social IQ.
For example, their sharp stares, keen observation skills and knack for psychological probing equip Scorpios with the ability to read faces well, read moods, and read their immediate social environment very well. If detractors do dismiss the Scorpio personality as sociopathic, even they must admit that the sociopath has a flip side, which is how they attract their prey. Similarly, Scorpios are naturally charming and magnetic. Some are able to turn these powers on or off at will. Other Scorpios are always going to the magnetic centerpiece in the room, pulling all eyes, whether they want to lay low or not.
The disengagement mentioned earlier is NOT a sign of Scorpio’s social detachment. Rather, it is a sign of social engagement. Scorpios can become so plugged into any environment that they need to repress their reactions, showing little external response despite internally reacting off the meter to stimuli; this profound level of engagement is another indication of Scorpio’s high social IQ. Scorpios constantly sift through stimuli, decide what to devote their intensive reflexes to — usually, it’s some intriguing muse, an idiosyncratic character contrasting with the crowd or even a wallflower with mysteries that must be discovered. Other times, they key in on problems or dangers lurking beneath the social veneer.
The most sensitive Scorpios can be so highly reactive to atmosphere that they cannot be physically near someone they despise or in an social orbit with their enemies (unless they are planning a snare). Other signs can ignore or even play nice with such people socially, but Scorpio may feel the negative vibrations so intensely that they feel they will combust if forced to be in contact.
If strong enough, a Scorpio can wall off all stimuli and exist in his or her own world; Scorpio children often do this and it may sometimes be mistaken for autistic behavior. It takes great energy and concentration, however, and is an assertive strategy rather than passive detachment.
Finally, the discipline of being socially reserved keeps the Scorpio from misusing his Scorpio traits — a very smart social strategy. A socially promiscuous Scorpio, especially if young, can be given to catty behavior, backstabbing, troublemaking , gossip and all forms of social chaos and manipulation — far more than the average Zodiac sign.
© 2013, Synthia L. Rose. All rights reserved.
Latest posts by Synthia L. Rose (see all)
- 8 Ways to Observe the Plutonian Day of Halloween with Your Scorpio - January 1, 1970
- Witnessing You: The Scorpio Brand of Intimacy - January 1, 1970
- “The Scorpio Extrovert ?” - January 1, 1970