What is Monogamy? What is Cheating? Venus in Sagittarius, Trine Pluto, Opposite Saturn Forces a Different View.
Let’s say we have one life — and we, as presently incarnated, do.
Let’s say sex is a sense. Like sight, audio, touch, taste, scent, and the sixth sense of intuition.
I, in fact, call sexuality my 7th sense — and the greatest one because it is the culmination of all my physical, metaphysical, and mystical responses to life, people, and energy. (Scorpio Sun in 9th house)
Let’s say I fall in love and even marry and use this sexuality to communicate and bond with the Beloved. Why does it then become off limits to use elsewhere?
How does using my private senses, my private sexuality become “cheating?”
Must the Beloved OWN something as personal and private as my sexuality. That is a ludicrous concept.
I know Scorpios like myself like to possess forever and exclusively. However, with Venus in Sagittarius opposite Saturn, the planet of tradition and structure I feel that I peer into a little used segment of society: the use of multiple relationships to fulfill all personal needs in a positive, beneficial — not destructive– manner (benevolent Jupiter trine Pluto).
With Venus also trine Pluto, I use emotional and erotic bonds to grow and evolve. Fortunately, having the love planet in Sagittarius means I’ll be exposed to new loves so I can continue to transform. I don’t see this as a principle that should be maligned or shunned. Yet, mutliple relationships are always denounced as “cheating.”
Surely natives of other Venusian aspects have the capacity to see the benefits of polyamory ….?
Sexuality is not a gift I give away, relinquishing to someone for them to hold hostage under the idea of monogamy. It is mine. It is a sense, a lightning rod I use to bond. They can’t hold it hostage when I’ve got bonding to do.
Is there no more sexual bonding after the Beloved? Does one relationship automatically prevent another — even if they are for different purposes, serve different needs, hold different ranks, and create a completely different and separate dynamic?
If we lay aside the traditions that are hand-me down and contrary to human nature, how can someone justify the view that one relationship means you have to exclude all others?
Can’t a second relationship, fleeting or permanent, add dimension?
What if you pass a kindred on the street and you feel that fiery connection that must be consummated before you part never to see each other again (!) — can you not bond with them once without subtracting from your primary mate? (Venus conjunct Neptune…idealistic, at war with the practical)
Monogamy as a lifestyle, especially a permanent one, actually seems not only archaic but detrimental to me because people are revived by new experiences and no one person can be everything to anybody. That’s the truth whether fear and jealousy prevents us from accepting it or not.
Variety is the spice of life, says the trite maxim. But more than that this is a rights issue.
I can’t help but to feel that the tradition encroaches on private and personal rights. The body belongs to self. Mates can have no claim in how you use it beyond the relationship.
I’ve even heard spouses complain when a mate indulges in self-pleasure…or in erotica without them — it’s some how wrong. Yet, another sign of how sexuality is not respected as private, personal, and self-directed always.
What does one relationship have to do with another? Each couple creates its own circle, its own dynamic that is not necessarily overlapped by secondary relationships.
Cheating to me would be overlapping: If you use two people to fulfill the exact same roles. However, people are complex and no one person can really provide all the stimulation an individual needs. One partner might fulfill social needs and offer stability. Another may give you the intellectual or spiritual spark you’ve been dying for.
With that being the reality, I really don’t see why FEAR has caused people to create this preposterous notion that sexuality should only be expressed in monogamy or it isn’t faithful.
Oh, I’m really arguing with myself. My Scorpio Sun hates the thought of any lover being with someone else. My Sun wants one exclusive Great Love for Life like most people. However, my Venus aspects have thwarted that pretty consistently.
As I enter a New Year, I’ve made a pact with myself to embrace my destiny. I think there is something I and maybe others can learn from this free-minded progressive stance of my Venus.
Disclaimer: My Venus, being in a Sag stellium, is also conjunct Jupiter and Mercury, enabling me to rationalize my desires. 🙂
© 2008 – 2013, Synthia L. Rose. All rights reserved.
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