Witnessing You: The Scorpio Brand of Intimacy
Scorpio is the most intimate sign in the Zodiac, — but do not mistake intimacy for just sex and conversation.
The word “intimate” has lost meaning. People use it as a euphemism for sexual contact or sharing between confidantes. And it is those things, but intimacy is above all a very penetrating level of knowledge. A Scorpio wants to know you, yes in the biblical sense, but also in every way it is possible to know a human being. And that requires an unnerving and uncomfortable level of inspection and fishing for details.
Of course, they seek your love, your sex, your trust, your loyalty, but all that is achieved during the course of Scorpio’s true ambition: the pursuit of the complete knowledge of you.
A Scorpio wants to know you when you are naked in every way, without pretense, propriety or protocol. And they will do everything they can to strip you emotionally, psychologically and physically in this great pursuit of intimacy– whether you like it or not.
No Ordinary Love Affair: Moving Beyond the Needs of Leo & Libra
The Zodiac has made Scorpio’s true lust clear and distinct from other forms of romantic hungers in astrology. It is not sex nor partnership, but the need for intense intimacy that distinguishes Scorpio most.
Sex is already accounted for in the Zodiac through the 5th house and Leo. Leo loves romance and making love all night, but they don’t need to know you. In fact, you can leave the next morning with all your secrets and details of your life intact and Leo will be just fine – but if Scorpio likes you, he or she will be gutted. Scorpio will think the experience hollow and forgettable.
While Leo is about fun and leisure sex, Scorpios bring a distinction to sex, using sex as an instrument for discovery. There is nothing like knowing how someone behaves when completely bereft of clothing, inhibitions, and emotional guards – while engaged in life’s most vulnerable act. It is a very beautiful and feral thing. All the little things you do while having sex may escape the eye of other signs but not Scorpio. And when put together with all sorts of other knowledge Scorpio has surreptitiously gathered by watching you, questioning you, exasperating you, spending silent hours with you, it creates a fascinating psychological profile.
One –on-one love and togetherness is already covered by Libra in the Zodiac, but a Libra can be “together” with you and not understand you inside out. They don’t need to dissect your every behavior and emotion. Romance, dates, soirees and gifts will do nicely. Consequently, they can also leave you for another quite easily.
Scorpio’s togetherness is way more complicated and far less detachable than Libra’s. With every new dimension of your personality and essence discovered, Scorpio has the ability to fall in love detail by detail, gluing to you in some sort of soul tie that can take years to wear off if it ever does. Consuming private details about you has a profoundly emotional and gratifying effect on Scorpio – definitely sealing and intensifying attraction.
(Of course, loathsome details have the opposite effect: making Scorpio detach. It doesn’t matter whether the news is positive or negative, it is a gamble how Scorpio will absorb and value it. They can be impressed by darkness discovered as well as by light).
Scorpio’s condemned methods of discovery
In the mission to know you, Scorpio’s motto becomes “Acquire top secret data by any means necessary.”
Scorpio’s methods for gathering information have been greatly maligned and misunderstood. Is stalking and snooping really wrong if the actions bring a deeper knowledge of someone? (Don’t’ answer that).
It doesn’t matter what you think. Website searches, government databases, personal investigators, your bedroom drawers and other hiding places want Scorpio to find them and learn more about you. Open windows want to be looked through. The front of your house wants Scorpio to drive by.
The deal is this: Scorpio cannot love what they don’t know. Because they love intensely, they must know you intensely. When Scorpio draws near to you in kisses, hugs, cuddling or whispered and unabashed exchanges, all of these actions are external cover for what is really going on: the Scorpio is methodically collecting and collating pieces of information on you.
THINGS THAT SCORPIOS WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOU:
- all your riddles,
- true character,
- deepest wants,
- pivotal life moments
- what you are like when you think no one is around,
- what you body is like.
- what you soul is like
- what you mind is like
- what your raw, animal nature is like
- what darkness exists in you.
- what light exists in you
- how much you would degrade yourself
- how much you respect yourself.
- you far you would go for certain things
- how authentic you are
- what your sexual nature is like
- your go-to automatic behaviors
- the way act when under pressure,
- whether you possess the capacity to love, interest and balance them forever or for a night.
- but mostly: everything you don’t want them to know.
Don’t even think about sitting down and telling the Scorpio everything about you.
That is the cheapest and most suspect kind of “knowledge” there is.
Scorpios are going to independently corroborate everything you say, anyway, so just let them find out their own way. The Scorpio man or Scorpio woman might decide to interview you, but if they don’t, they have other ways of finding out.
Everything that Scorpio does is about gathering details on someone. The usual actions are:
Watching: The famous Scorpio stare is a prime tool in the information gathering process. Not only do they see the superficial you, the Scorpio sees your aura, your energy and the substance (or lack thereof) beneath it all.
Investigation: The original private eyes, Scorpios are adept at tricks and tactics to locate missing information you conveniently don’t provide. Whether they must probe electronically or manually, by ruse, by manipulation or by direct action, Scorpios will invade your personal space, your past or your common hangouts to discover people linked to you (especially old flames), revealing paperwork, private recordings, diaries, letters, places you used to stay – and that’s only the beginning.
Interrogation: When in a mood, Scorpios like to rigorously interrogate the object of their interest, riling them to see what information slips out when they are under pressure. This activity can really goose Scorpio, and they’ll keep going and going because they feed off the prospect of their subject coming completely undone. Often the questioning is combined with arguing and fighting, which also arouses Scorpio and creates a better environment to throw the other person off balance.
Psychoanalysis: Scorpio intimacy can make the mates of Scorpio feel like they are in a shrink’s office when they are simply going about their daily lives. Scorpios read into everything the partner does or says, testing for ulterior motives and subtext.
Stalking: Scorpio might trail a person of interest, picking up details from a safe and camouflaged distance.
Fighting & otherwise causing Chaos: (see the notes on Interrogation. This is to discombobulate the other person and study the reactions)
F*cking: This is when your defenses and all pretenses at being civilized are gone—the perfect angle for studying you “in the wild.”
In no specific order.
These actions are generally sufficient for a Scorpio to decide what type of creature he or she is dealing with and whether that person fits with the Scorpio’s own dynamic enough to be welcomed further into their lives.
The Scorpio’s Own Need to Be Known
Intimacy is a two-way street for Scorpio.
Scorpios want to be known from the soul out by just a few before they die — even with all the masks and hiding. To be trapped in their own private understanding of themselves is to be lonely.
The covers are just a measure of how valuable Scorpios think the secret self is; they want someone to go through the difficult work of penetrating the mask.
While it can be the hardest thing for Scorpios to endure, Scorpios feel touched and elated when someone intuits, perceives or inspires them to share their most cherished and guarded information. It goes without saying that the Scorpio man or Scorpio woman expects the lover-receiver to treat the knowledge gingerly, promising to shield it in an unspoken vow of protection.
Since being exposed is Scorpio’s greatest fear, transmitting the secrets of their heart to someone strong enough and trustworthy enough to guard it is the measure of how special that person is to Scorpio. A Scorpio may sleep with a bevy of lovers, but he or she will only confide time and time again to the truly rare. When a Scorpio no longer confides their deepest thoughts & emotions, make no mistake about it: the relationship is stagnating, dying, decaying. If they don’t tell you any secrets of value, the relationship hasn’t even begun.
A Life of Intimacy
Ultimately, Scorpio wants to live a life of perpetual intimacy. The sum total of what society has come to recognize as intimacy originated from Scorpio principles and the practices of the 8th house: sex, deep confidential conversation, physical closeness, and the mutual accumulation of detailed intelligence about the other; thus, these are the natural practices of Scorpio that can deliver Scorpio to a state of Nirvana.
Once Scorpio knows the essential things about you, it’s not over. Scorpios will be knowing and learning small things about you forever – they are just that meticulous and exhaustive. Their partners would be wise to establish intimacy rituals to keep Scorpio content. Scorpios are pleased to settle into a private world with you, with the two of you seeing things about each other that no one else sees.
Partners cannot be ashamed or dismissive about the need for Scorpio to have deeply private and personal experiences – and the more emotionally charged the better. Only immature Scorpios will use gathered knowledge against you. So, make sure you’ve chosen a mature and protective Scorpio.
Remember the movie “Shall we Dance?” Co-writer Masayuki Suo, a Scorpio born October 29th, includes a great Scorpio piece of dialogue in it. Character Beverly Clark suggests everyone needs a soul mate because “We need a witness to our lives.”
Only a Scorpio could write that line.
In the end, all these efforts to see the real you means Scorpio wants to be a witness to your life.
With all the gained knowledge, Scorpios want to embrace you, heal you, study you – even judge you — but still accept you. This is the greatest, most dangerous and most intense closeness in the world. And it is an essential part of soul mating for Scorpio. Most people are not ready for it and cannot handle it, which is why they may lie to Scorpio, distract Scorpio, play games with Scorpio or just fade away.
Photo Credit (above): “Lovers holding hands”/Microsoft
© 2014, Synthia L. Rose. All rights reserved.
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